Jim Foster

I must say I have mixed opinions on the subject of senior sex. I am all for it if both participants are heavily insured.

I have learned that the health care of Canadians is not under the guidance of the nation’s health professionals as we once believed.

To the best of my knowledge I have never said anything that will live through the centuries, well maybe one. It was about brassieres.

To be honest I cannot remember who else was a recipient of this cherished award that evening since towards the end of the ceremony, we all fell down…

… the kids will have to sell the furniture sitting beside the For Sale sign on the lawn to raise enough money to bury you

Somehow Mary and I sipping warm milk at midnight while staring out the window at the snow didn’t seem to compare with last year’s festivities when the police raided our friends’ house.

Up here in God’s country, Jean Chretien was our Prime Minister and will long be remembered for putting a choke-hold on a protester teaching us all that you don’t screw around with Canadian politicians.

The SPCA reported that the reindeer appeared to be well fed but may have been drinking since the lead animal’s nose was bright red.

It was getting late and one by one the lights began to go out all over London as all the little children were tucked into their beds with visions of sugarplums and in the case of some of the older lads, scantily-clad women, dancing in the their heads.

Every Tuesday morning, the folks on the second and third floor at City Hall have to sit around in their underwear.