Jim Foster

The caring lady will probably question the ‘successful’ part when she has to chip in half of the cost of the motel room

Women ask too much of saints these days. They want him to find them some guy who washes occasionally

Or maybe he dictated most of his stuff while he lay on the couch drinking sack. Sack is fortified wine. His bar bill must have been immense.

… but for amateurs the best place to play was behind a fence or in a fort.

I was appalled and had to be taken away in an ambulance

The gentleman should high-five his way down the line. If he is over seventy, his fellow male theatre devotees should give him a standing ovation.

I can’t recall the square of the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle coming into a conversation too many times over the years. And if it did there was alcohol involved.

Granted it isn’t as easy as it used to be. It’s hard to tip your hat when it’s on backwards and hasn’t been off one’s head since the last shower

Everyone knows men are only partway through the evolutionary process and not responsible for anything they might do no matter how ridiculous

But miracles only happen in fairy tales, and in the long run the prince or the princess waiting at home is still kissing a frog.