A Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster
The festive season is over for another year and a disastrous year it was, what with COVID 19 and Samuel de Champlain gone missing.
In the 50s, Orillia used to top off the season with a Twelfth Night celebration. The city gathered up all the Christmas trees in town, piled them up in McKinnell Square and set them on fire. Hundreds of people stood there shivering in below zero weather wishing the organizers would forget the flippin’ speeches and set the damned things on fire so they could go home before they froze to death. Alas, few citizens nowadays are patriotic enough these days to throw a $350 artificial tree complete with flashing lights and LED icicles on the pile so the giant festivities have petered down to my friend Gary smoking a cigar on his front porch.
Another thing at the time, the environmentalists were getting a bit ugly about the smoke from the burning trees polluting the city. I found that interesting since we had four or five foundries pumping out tons of God knows what into the air 24 hours a day at the time. I’m sure they complained about that – but not too loudly.
The only good thing that happened in 2020 that I can recall was The Donald getting fired by our neighbours to the south. As I mentioned last week, we can thank the Lord he left gracefully like the refined gentleman we all knew he was. Quite frankly it is hard to keep up with all the goings-on in American politics these chaotic days. I can’t seem to keep the players straight. Is Mitch McConnell one of the good guys or is he just one more bozo we should keep an eye on? And what about Lindsay Graham or are they the same person, I don’t know. In a way we shouldn’t worry about them because we can’t do anything about their antics anyway, but not worrying is a lot like you not buying a tube of Preparation H because you aren’t itchy at the time. We better keep an eye on what’s going on down there, at least until Trump no longer has the nuclear codes.
In his defense, the man may be ill, not McConnell or Graham, the other bozo – although I’m not too sure about them either. Think about Trump for a moment. Would a person in touch with reality not understand he is setting himself up to join the ranks of the most whacky politicians in history, right up there with Nero and a couple of loony kings and emperors?
He couldn’t or he would scale back his idiotic posturing, face reality, and quietly accede to the wishes of the people. It’s bad enough he has already started to pardon every convicted bozo in the USA if he agrees to wear a red hat and he has until the 20th to free another batch of them. I know I must be stupid, but why in God’s name did the Americans give their president, or for that matter anyone, that power? Forgive the rant, but there must be something leaking into the water systems down there and it isn’t common sense. Here endeth my harangue for today!
It was my original plan to start 2021 on a note of optimism to help us sally forth into a new year with spring in our step and hope in our hearts but it is already a bit late for that. Granted, it will be difficult for the few of you who are just now recovering from hangovers which would put down an ox.
The traditional New Year’s Eve celebrations this year were somewhat tamer than those in years gone by since the whole country is in lockdown. A 2021 travel adventure these days is dragging the blue box down to the curb. Somehow Mary and I sipping warm milk at midnight while staring out the window at the snow didn’t seem to compare with last year’s festivities when the police raided our friends’ house and took most of the guests away in a fleet of cruisers. However, the party was a memorable occasion for the rest of us and will be remembered for many years to come – especially when the four senior gentlemen entertained everyone with a close to obscene Chippendale dance routine. Ladies’ pantyhose are not exactly opaque as we found out later to everyone’s chagrin.
The ambulance taking all four away to the cardiac ward did put a damper on the evening of course, nevertheless a good time was had by all and their funerals were well-attended.
Hopefully we will all be needled soon and the nation will be on its way to full recovery. There will be surprising number of our less than bright citizens who will refuse the vaccine but no one cares about them anyway since they apparently don’t care about us. I guess that’s a bit harsh; I’m sure they have their reasons but it doesn’t help the rest of us. Mary and I decided quite a while ago to follow the rules as much as we can and if the top medical people tell us we need to get vaccinated we will.
We have friends vacationing in Florida and we wonder when we will see them again. I certainly hope it will be soon; they have some excellent bottles of single malt scotch in the house and I don’t know where they hide the key to the liquor cabinet.