Jim Foster

Once a person reaches 950, a crowd jumping out from behind the couch yelling, Happy Birthday is usually fatal.

Knowing how embarrassing that must have been for him, I only told a few dozen people.

Nowhere is it mentioned what the wine sales were at the first Olympic Game in Greece when all the athletes ran around bare naked, but if all they had was that dreadful Retsina I would say they were close to nothing.

It’s always sad when a centenarian passes on. And yet it is at the same time a wonderful opportunity to rejoice and look back over Bubba’s life.

There is an odd-looking device in there I thought might be some sort of bust-line enhancing device. It is made of rubber and cone shaped…

Just one more word and we can move on – well maybe three.

Some people, not me of course, but some people have a pretty odd sense of humour.

I once wrote a column about the dangers of teaching a dog or cat to speak. Not a good idea folks!

There is a simple explanation. Something strange, and potentially powerful, is taking place deep within the planet.