Jim Foster

About 25 years ago I decided to try to ride a neighbourhood kid’s bike. It is one of the skills you never forget – or so they say.

Had I gone ahead with one brilliant idea I could be in serious trouble with the Children’s Aid Society.

The two bozos go back to New York where they sit in a bar every night. Tommy drinks and feels sorry for himself and Jeff, well, Jeff just drinks.

Puss in Boots drowned when the Giant from the beanstalk caper misread his first name.

I could never work in men’s fashion, not because I have no taste in clothes, and I haven’t, but because I would never be able to measure a man’s inseam without blushing.

I also learned today that 5% of Americans never make their beds.

There is a problem when we age, I’m sure you have noticed the rest of the world ages with us. But we assume everyone else is maturing.

I don’t know why I stopped to talk to him in the first place. The next time I see him coming I will cross the street.

We mustn’t confuse any of them with our own CSIS, or the one with the horses, what is that one? Now I remember, the RCMP.

It is easy to blow it in the heat of the moment when the pressure to come up with something is on, like sportscaster Tony Armstrong: