Plot Hole The Musical

A Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster

June is busting out all over,’ or so it says in the delightful musical, Carousel. The males in the cast changed it to, ‘June is busting out all over and her sister is looking pretty healthy too.’

I’ve told you many times I love movie musicals. I know men are supposed to get their jollies from manly movies like The Dirty Dozen, Mission Impossible, and the Die Hard series. I especially like Clint Eastwood’s spaghetti westerns when he wears a serape. I almost bought one in Los Cabos but everyone said I looked like Fantasy Island’s Tattoo wearing a beach towel.

I get too involved in the musical’s story. I worry too much about what happens after the singing stops and everyone has gone home.

A perfect example of a classic that still confuses me is My Fair Lady. I know I talked about it a few weeks ago but I want you to think about this. Why would Eliza Doolittle stay with that snotty, Henry Higgins? Was she daft?I’m sure she would have been far better off shacking up with Freddie, the toff who kept hanging around the street where she lived. (Myself, I think he might have been a peeping Freddie but what do I know?) Granted he has no job, but he must have a bit of money because she met him when he was coming out of the theatre – although he may have been an usher. At least she had a chance of getting lucky once he stopped singing.

The Professor, on the other hand, showed every sign of being a dead loss romance-wise. Now I am certainly not one to start rumours, but he did meet Colonel Pickering in the street and an hour later the old geezer moved in with him. Now I’m not suggesting anything but… not that there is anything wrong with that.

We mustn’t forget Hair. That was the American Love-Rock musical where everyone ended up buck-naked on the stage, or at least that’s what I heard from some of the older boys. My mother wouldn’t let me see it. I was only 42 at the time.

The one movie musical ending that concerns me more than any other is the fate of Van Johnson in Brigadoon. I’m sure you remember the story, Jeff Douglas (Van) and Tommy Albright (Gene Kelly) get lost in the highlands of Scotland. What they were doing wandering around in the heather miles from civilization is still a bit of a mystery. I expect coming down from a three-day drunk.

To make a long story short, they stumble upon Brigadoon, a little village that only appears for one day every 100 years. (Somewhat like the Leafs and the Stanley Cup; wait until 2067 and put every dime you have on the boys in blue.) Tommy falls in love with Fiona Campbell (Cyd Charise) whose legs go all the way to the ground, but, alas he couldn’t commit because he was an idiot. Fiona loves him but can’t stay because the day is over and she has to fade away into the mists of time taking her long legs with her. The two bozos go back to New York where they sit in a bar every night. Tommy drinks and feels sorry for himself and Jeff, well, Jeff just drinks.

Realizing he blew his big chance for love and happiness, Tommy talks Jeff (who apparently doesn’t work or is on a disability pension for chronic alcoholism) into going back to Scotland. Wonder of wonders, Brigadoon comes back 99 years early. Fiona wakes up out of a dead sleep, (actually it was no big deal; she had to go to the john anyway) sees Tommy and off they trip hand in hand into the mists.

A happy ending? Sure it is, for them; they’ll be running through the highlands and drinking heather ale by the mugful, but what about Jeff? Think about it. Two guys head off into the highlands and only one comes back. Would you believe the other guy disappeared with a beautiful woman with long legs? I wouldn’t, and the local constabulary wouldn’t either. There is a warning here for tourists. Stay out of the highlands. But if you do, bring me back some heather ale. Did I mention Cyd’s legs?

(Image Supplied)

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