Jim Foster

What if some reporter should be there covering the grand re-opening and there I was standing outside the door along with dozens of other alkies hoping to be the first in line.

But what does all this talk of high finance have to do with you sitting at your little table in the pouring rain?

The odd thing is I remember now that I thought about girls all the time, I just can’t remember why.

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The great advantage of loading a tray with these surprisingly tantalizing snacks is they can be of any size and they contain absolutely nothing.

If you recall, just before you sat down to dine, and considerably before you killed that bottle of fine wine and threw up on the living room rug…

Swinging doors require hinges, hinges require screw nails, screw nails require a door frame, door frames require more wood.

Let us assume you have managed to expropriate a few feet of lumber from a local building site while the security person was making his morning pit stop to the Fiberglas portable potty.

“Really? Well don’t get too fond of him; we are putting the crazy old fart in a home.” “Really? Well don’t get too fond of him; we are putting the crazy old fart in a home.”