Jim Foster

Do you know what is wrong with that movie? Why would Eliza Doolittle, a good-looking chick if there ever was one, settle on a bonehead like ‘enry ‘iggins?

I have to admit the sciences were not my strong suits when I was in high school, in fact there are some who say I had no strong suits in school at all.

I must say I have mixed opinions on the subject of senior sex. I am all for it if both participants are heavily insured.

I have learned that the health care of Canadians is not under the guidance of the nation’s health professionals as we once believed.

To the best of my knowledge I have never said anything that will live through the centuries, well maybe one. It was about brassieres.

To be honest I cannot remember who else was a recipient of this cherished award that evening since towards the end of the ceremony, we all fell down…

… the kids will have to sell the furniture sitting beside the For Sale sign on the lawn to raise enough money to bury you

Somehow Mary and I sipping warm milk at midnight while staring out the window at the snow didn’t seem to compare with last year’s festivities when the police raided our friends’ house.

Up here in God’s country, Jean Chretien was our Prime Minister and will long be remembered for putting a choke-hold on a protester teaching us all that you don’t screw around with Canadian politicians.

The SPCA reported that the reindeer appeared to be well fed but may have been drinking since the lead animal’s nose was bright red.