Jim Foster

I had to leave a burlesque show once. I didn’t realise the calls of ‘Take it off, Take it off’ weren’t meant for me.

The -1 came from my wife which I thought was unfair since she slept through it.

Those of us with long flowing locks know very well what caused their baldness and so do they. They should have listened to their mothers.

That sounds simple enough and I suppose it is as long as you know the ground rules.

Almost all of my old friends from the Legion are gone now, and their songs are slowly disappearing from our lives.

His celebrated, ‘Some come here to sit and think’ was painstakingly carved into a washroom wall in Westminster Abby…

I always thought it was just an old wives’ tale, but it’s true. Every hair on Bill’s head went right for the ceiling – all three of them.

Fortunately we all survived that attack, partly because the wolves were miles away and also the fact we were about thirty feet from the front door of Grandview Lodge.

In The Merry Widow, the exquisite women at Maxime’s swarmed him constantly as the local ladies did to me when I was young.

Soap was around at the time but not all that popular since water hadn’t been invented and rubbing a bar or two on one’s body usually resulted in cuts and abrasions.