Jim Foster

As I am sure you know, it is required by terms of the British North America Act that the brighter citizens of Ontario travel to Manitoba every few years to bring some measure of civilization to that backward province.

And Goliath did flee like the wind crying out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” and disappearethed o’er the mountaintop. Lo, didst David flang a day-old bagel and it also disappearethed o’er the crest.

Instead of their top guns working on isosceles triangles, squared hypotenuses and the weight of bodies immersed in water, someone should have been thinking long and hard about zippers.

ShareA Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster Now I am all in favour of keeping the public safe from injuries. I

One night I fell off the stage and nobody knew I was gone until the janitorial staff vacuumed me up in the morning.

Yes my friends, so many great Canadians. We are a race set apart by God because we are different – and we are different.

Oh sure, sometimes our inventors distinguish themselves and make a fortune. But always by accident…

… that year we beat Barrie in the playoffs which we did quite regularly. Even today I could hustle up a team and we could do it again.

I have the original speech in the computer and I am pretty sure it’s mine; but it seems far too brilliant for a bozo like me.

I was going to go on from there and count all my cousins but my calculator exploded.