Jim Foster

None of the Big Three auto manufacturers cared enough for their fellow man to put any research into the most aggravating problem of watching films in the great outdoors — foggy windows.

I used to tell my tragedies to Bob Morris at the Legion but Bob hadn’t read the Code so he just turned off the lights, locked the door and went home. The custodian let me out in the morning.

Do you remember years ago when one dating strategy was checking out someone’s sign before you asked him or her out?

The ambulance arrived within minutes but ran into an unforeseen complication.

Once a person reaches 950, a crowd jumping out from behind the couch yelling, Happy Birthday is usually fatal.

Knowing how embarrassing that must have been for him, I only told a few dozen people.

Nowhere is it mentioned what the wine sales were at the first Olympic Game in Greece when all the athletes ran around bare naked, but if all they had was that dreadful Retsina I would say they were close to nothing.