Jim Foster

For the gentleman out there, I wouldn’t mention your life-long interest in pornography unless the lady across the table looks strangely familiar.

He is also a minimalist. I thought that was a stupid thing to put in a dating ad until I realized he was not complaining about what he looks like naked.

Nobody is asking you to buy tickets to something that offends you. You simply don’t go.

Paris was a Trojan, although he refused to wear one.

As I am sure you know, it is required by terms of the British North America Act that the brighter citizens of Ontario travel to Manitoba every few years to bring some measure of civilization to that backward province.

And Goliath did flee like the wind crying out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” and disappearethed o’er the mountaintop. Lo, didst David flang a day-old bagel and it also disappearethed o’er the crest.

Instead of their top guns working on isosceles triangles, squared hypotenuses and the weight of bodies immersed in water, someone should have been thinking long and hard about zippers.

ShareA Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster Now I am all in favour of keeping the public safe from injuries. I

One night I fell off the stage and nobody knew I was gone until the janitorial staff vacuumed me up in the morning.