Humour

One night I fell off the stage and nobody knew I was gone until the janitorial staff vacuumed me up in the morning.

Yes my friends, so many great Canadians. We are a race set apart by God because we are different – and we are different.

Oh sure, sometimes our inventors distinguish themselves and make a fortune. But always by accident…

… that year we beat Barrie in the playoffs which we did quite regularly. Even today I could hustle up a team and we could do it again.

I have the original speech in the computer and I am pretty sure it’s mine; but it seems far too brilliant for a bozo like me.

I was going to go on from there and count all my cousins but my calculator exploded.

I know they still make 3-D movies, but I can only remember seeing one. I thought they would have been so perfected by now the heroine would sit on your lap and watch the show with you…

I was so disgusted I taped it.

I could go into the office, but the last time the doorman wouldn’t let me in. He didn’t recognise me.

We hope to solve that problem by hiring only plain girls in the future, and may I say that you certainly more than qualify.