Jim Foster

I could go into the office, but the last time the doorman wouldn’t let me in. He didn’t recognise me.

We hope to solve that problem by hiring only plain girls in the future, and may I say that you certainly more than qualify.

Suddenly it occurred to me that something wasn’t quite right.

I don’t suppose you have ever thought about the similarity between herds of cattle and political parties.

I will pause a moment here to give the Baptists and Evangelicals time to shut down their computers.

From the din coming from the living room, I assumed one or two of the ladies were angry about whatever the morning’s topic was…

“Omigod, throw a blanket over her or something. She’ll be so embarrassed when she sobers up.”

The Earl was certainly known to be a rotter and if he were alive today would most certainly be fairly high up in the Federal Conservative Party and even higher among American Republicans.

I had to leave a burlesque show once. I didn’t realise the calls of ‘Take it off, Take it off’ weren’t meant for me.

The -1 came from my wife which I thought was unfair since she slept through it.