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Lying in a column is called poetic license, story enhancement, and sometimes pure bull droppings.

One of the problems of being a world-renowned columnist is hundreds, if not thousands, of loyal readers base their daily lives on our sage advice…

… but Mr. Swartz, my esteemed editor has become a bit of a prude in his old age even threatening to have me fired and charged under a number of obscenity laws.

All Bill needed to say was ‘Them’s nice flowers’ which almost anyone could memorize unless you had the misfortune to be educated in Barrie.

Years ago I ended up standing beside Ken Brown and he couldn’t remember them either.

I should have listened to my mother. I could have married a doctor.