The Gang That Can’t Shoot Straight
A Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster
Omigod, he’s slipping in another old one! It’s true, I am, but it is amazing how little things have changed.
I’m not really a fanatic on gun legislation one way or the other. I know there are good gun owners out there who rarely shoot their neighbours unless it is absolutely necessary. I suppose the guy next door not picking up Rover’s dog pooh would be one of those justifications.
I also know that some people have arsenals in their basement that rival the military might of small countries and at least half of them are not sane enough to handle a knife and fork without supervision. But as bad as the illegal firearms situation is here in Canada, it is nothing compared to the problems faced by our friends to the south; and that is with legal guns. It is not only the right of every American to arm him or herself to the teeth, in the minds of many folks down there they have to. The rest of the world is out to get them. Because of the peculiarities of their foreign policy, they may not be far wrong.
It may be coincidental but the place with the most relaxed gun laws in a country crawling with guns, is the State of Virginia. Although there is some control. I heard this morning that a citizen of Virginia is only allowed to buy one gun a month. That must be comforting, unless of course you live next door and own a dog.
There were all kinds of interviews and call-in shows on the radio in the hours after the Virginia Tech tragedy (Virginia Tech shooting, April 16, 2007) For the most part the callers just expressed the horror they felt when they heard the news. As I expected however for every half dozen sensible folks who called in, the inevitable malcontents and whack jobs took the opportunity to enlighten us with their peculiar slant on that situation and a few others. It is amazing that some people believe an open mike is a sign from above to ramble on as if they are in their right minds. Which of course they aren’t and I suspect never have been.
One old dolly warned us that Stephen Harper was setting us up to be annexed by the United States. I’m not a great fan of Stephen, but I don’t think even he’s that loony.
On the other hand, he is from Alberta. How the old dear got from a shooting in Blacksburg to Canada becoming another star on the American flag was a little confusing. I suspect that a major mix-up in her medication may have been involved, or she’s been washing her incontinence pills down with vodka.
But the logic of one caller from Ottawa left me bewildered – even more than usual. I believe the man might be here in 2007 courtesy of a time warp. I think he originally was a marshal in Tombstone, Arizona in the 1860s. Somehow he ended up in the Nation’s Capital (Canada, not theirs). He is a registered handgun owner and a self-confessed expert marksman as are his kids. But then he gave us his particular take on a decision by the administration of Virginia Tech to ban guns on the campus a few weeks before.
It is his view that had a number of students been armed that morning and in the classrooms, the extent of the tragedy would have been lessened considerable. They would have gunned the man down. I assume in a shoot-out that would make the Gunfight at the OK Corral look like the three-legged race at a Sunday school picnic.
I have said many times that for the most part I like Americans, but our southern cousins are not exactly the sanest people on Earth armed or unarmed. After all they elected George Bush not once, but twice. That is not a sign of mental stability.
You may not have noticed but Americans have a slight tendency to overact to any tragic situation. Attacking Iraq after 9-11 being a prime example since the Iraqis had nothing to do with it. Although I guess they do talk funny and have oil. That may be reason enough.
Can you imagine how a classroom of students packing six-guns would have handled the situation that dreadful morning? Once the word got out that the shooter was South Korean, everyone born west of San Francisco had better be leaving on the dead run.
Even that fine Shakespearean actor, Jackie Chan would be in danger. Although I’ve seen some of his movies and that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.
(Image Supplied)
