On Aging, Or Where Was I?
A Geezer’s Notebook, By Jim Foster
I was browsing through the Toronto Star, paper edition, back in January and came across a couple of interesting articles about aging, although they had nothing to do with me since I am as immortal as one can get. (That stupid remark should finish me off in a hurry.) A staff reporter Kevin Jiang (sounds Irish) wrote these excellent investigative reviews based on the current research on the life expectancy of the average person.
A recent study posits (a great word that I have never used before and will never use again) the upper biological limit for human life is 120 to 150 years. The articles were not exactly uplifting since after years of our life expectancy increasing to its highest point in the 2010s it now appears to be going the other way.
The major causes will be no surprise to anyone, far too little exercise and diets of processed foods that contain God knows what. (Try reading the side of a jar of Cheez Whiz sometime.)
Kevin did mention too much drinking but I think we can safely ignore that one. Obviously Kevin isn’t Irish after all.
The one factor that surprised me, but shouldn’t have, is school buses. Kids don’t play outside like they did for centuries and now most of them no longer walk to school. There are fewer, but much larger, schools and greater distances for them to travel, so I guess it had to come to that.
Lord knows I am no child psychiatrist (although I probably should have been under their care many years ago) but I wonder what the kids are missing socially by not walking to school. They no longer have interactions with the other kids in the neighbourhood and the ones from far afield we used to meet along the way. Maureen and I caught the town bus when we lived on Hilda Street, the other side of town, but we met friends there every morning and talked to them on the way. Of course riding a school bus gives kids the same opportunity so I guess that’s a draw.
I was about to say we never see the neighbourhood kids but we will once the snow has gone. We live half a block from Homewood Park and dozens of the little nippers sail by on their scooters, trikes, bikes and electric skateboards on their way to the park. I don’t know what the rules are governing electric bikes and skateboards but I don’t think they should be allowed to go at speeds much over 80 kph. I don’t see any brakes on the skateboards. I guess they just aim for the nearest tree.
I know I am talking like an old geezer, but when we were kids we hung out with other kids. Boys hopped on their bikes and were gone for the day. The girls did too, or skipped Double Dutch on the sidewalk, Bouncy bouncy bally, Fibber McGee and Molly. Do you remember that classic chant? Of course the boys added Went to a dance and lost their pants. That was racy talk back in the 40s, but we sang it anyway; filthy-minded little devils.
We were never in the house listening to the radio, we were in our forts. We built forts all over the place, up against a fence was good. Forts were the best places to talk about life in general and more important, to play Truth or Dare. Of course, the game didn’t work unless we could talk the girls into coming into the fort too. Then it got interesting. “Helen I dare you to kiss Jimmy” “Jerry, I dare you to kiss Ruthie” until someone said, “Maggie, I dare you to pull down your pants?” And then from out of nowhere Maggie’s mother would show up and the game postponed until Maggie’s bum stopped throbbing, what was left of the fort was rebuilt, and a GIRLS KEEP OUT sign posted.
What has all this to do with living forever? Nothing really except that was how we lived when we were 9, 10, or 11. Kids are supposed to be outside playing with each other, not sitting in the house texting on cell phones or playing computer games all day. Fifty years from now, when friends gather someone will say, “Remember back in 2025 when we… wait a minute! We didn’t do anything. What a pee-pot of a childhood we had.”
They won’t live forever; it will just seem that long.
(Image Supplied)
